10. Miss Tibbit is a dog and has aromatic dog mouth.
9. She licks the floor.
8. She licks the sidewalk. Oh, why? Because it has on it flavorful substances like gum, bird crap, spit.
7. Miss Tibbit bathes herself and her pal Hamish the Corgi with her tongue. I don’t want that on me.
6. Miss Tibbit enjoys cat litter snackies. She eats the crumbs from the basement floor. You know how it works: the cat jumps out with litter stuck to his feet. The litter scatters. Tibbit cleans that up. Two strikes – basement floor and cat litter.
5. Two days ago I yanked a rotting baby bird carcass out of her mouth by its little feet. It was mostly down her throat already so I had to have a good, strong grip on those curled up bird toes.
4. Miss Tibbit has sticky spit.
3. She sniffs the cat’s butt, and I can’t be sure she does it from a sanitary distance.
2. She licks her own wet nose.
And finally, the hard limit, the final unarguable reason:
1. I just now saw Miss Tibbit eat cat crap that some city cat left in my garden. Yes, I am glad it is gone. No, I am not happy Miss Tibbit ate it.
Miss Tibbit is a sweet, lovey useless little black dog who likes nothing better than to greet people with kisses. Just saying, think about it.