Humor, Pets
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Why does Miss Tibbit smell like meat?

Something isn’t fair.

I crouched down so I could see under the table. Hamish was worried and had squeezed himself under the low shelf of the stainless steel prep table in the kitchen. He looked across the floor at me and asked again, “Why does Miss Tibbit smell like meat today?”

I sat back. “Well, you know Tibbit is a Bad Dog most of the time on walks, right?” Hamish just looked at me. In his opinion, being a Bad Dog was no reason to smell like meat, unless the Bad Activity had been stealing a packet of meat from the counter. No dog has ever perpetrated this act in the WideEyedHousehold. Hamish would have known.

He kept staring at me, waiting patiently for an explanation.

“Hamish, remember when we all left the house last night and left you upstairs in your room?” He blinked. “We went to dog training school.” He stared at me some more, still not clear on the meat connection.

“Apparently Miss Tibbit is so bad, that the Dog Teacher said to give her a treat if she was good for even a second. The treats are bacon beef snacks and she was really bad and then really good a lot during training.” Hamish perked up. “I’m good all the time,” he suggested, “if I am bad first do I get meat?”.

I sighed. Of course Hamish is good all the time and I didn’t want him to be bad. He also tends to portliness. But, peace in the household was important. “Want to have some dog school here in the kitchen?”

Hamish popped out from under the table.

Hamish walked like a man. He sat. He stayed. He went into a down. I tossed Hamish meatie snacks, cheerios, kibble.

Walking like a man.

Snack down the hatch.

Miss Tibbit watched all this training with increasing concern. She couldn’t stand it anymore.

Miss Tibbit tried to walk like a man, but instead she jumped 5 feet in the air and snatched a treat out of my hand. She sat. She stayed. She went into a down. “This is it,” I told her and tossed the last snack.

Snack really down the hatch.

Hamish smiled at me and snuffled the floor next to Miss Tibbit just in case someone missed a treat.

Peace in the WideEyedHousehold. Until someone rings the doorbell.


  1. I honestly can’t believe how many treats Tibbit ingested at dog training the other night. I wouldn’t have thought her tiny stomach could hold that much. She probably gobbled up well over 100 treats in an hour. I wonder too why Hamish wasn’t curious as to why we also smelled like meat because our hands were coated in dog treat grease.

  2. Pingback: Hamish Has Decided He’s Been Cheated. « wideeyedfunk

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