Home Improvement, Humor
Comments 7

I know I would paint better if I had a pair of Dickies painters pants.

I own a nice brush. I bought quality paint. I sanded and primed properly. I’ve painted ceilings, walls, trim, floors in 5 different states, 6 different domiciles. Satin, flat, matte, semi-gloss, stain, paint stain, epoxy, and varnish. Interior, exterior, basement, attic, kitchen.You name it. I’ve painted it. And while I’m no pro, I can lay some paint.

But you know what? I was standing in Sherwin Williams the other day waiting for my paint to shake and I saw that their Dickies painters pants were on sale. It was a really good sale, only $18. That’s a great price for any kind of pants, an exceptional price for magic skill infused painters pants. I didn’t buy them.

Here we are, a little more than 24 hours later and I am commencing with painting the bathroom. I am all geared up in my ladies Carhartts and I am feeling ill-prepared. Queasy that I could do better.

Don’t mistake the situation. The ladies Carhartts are good, solid pants. They lived in 3 states with me. They traveled to 3 continents with me. They knelt with me inside them in the mud of a 4,000 year old whale hunting household in Chukotka. They crouched with me in 27,000 year old cave deposits in Portugal – where they also worked with me on a 100,000 year old Neanderthal beach camp. These pants and I have spent weeks on survey in the Western Aleutian Islands.

Now, here in Buffalo, they are paint pants. But the trouble is, the thing that keeps bugging at my mind, they are FIELD pants really. Not paint pants at all.

I just have this terrible feeling that I do injustice to the pants by painting in them, and injustice to the bathroom paint jobs by not having the proper pants on for the job.

The magic pants!

UPDATE, REMARKABLE UPDATE: From 1,500 miles away, WideEyedCousin D had my local Sherwin Williams store put aside a set of painters pants just for me. WideEyedCousinD, I thank you, the paint thanks you, and the house is ever-so-grateful. The Carhartts just want to hug you.

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7 Comments

  1. You’re so cheap…just go buy a pair of the pants. Or better yet, the Carhartt pants are apparently tough and long lasting…so go buy another pair to be used specifically for painting. Not that anyone really needs to know, but my attire for the evening’s painting festivities consisted of basketball shorts, an old t-shirt and a pair of Crocs. Yeah Crocs…I know, they have kind of gone out of vogue, but if you don’t own a pair you are missing out! Chicks dig a man who wears Crocs! And I prefer beer when painting, not wine as pictured above. I think pale ales pair well with painting.

  2. crocs were never in vogue. people just told themselves that to make themselves feel better about putting them on their bodies. anyway, that’s off the subject. it seems to me that it would be a travesty to subject the field pants to paint duty. yeah, they’re inanimate but everything has a life and there’s no sugarcoating the fact that this is a demotion of character. no, i say, let the field pants undertake their wisened and lofty charges while the new paint pants are subjected to the working class defiling.

  3. Dwain says

    go to SW at 1470 Main Street in Buffalo…talk to Brian or Chris….There’s a pair of Dickies there waiting for you.

    • Holy Cats. I stopped in. They all knew about it. Absolutely fun. I am sitting here clacking away on the keyboard but you know, the pants want me to paint instead! Dwain you are too kind and I thank you! I can’t stop smiling.

  4. Pingback: Home renovation made possible by the 1970s. | wideeyedfunk

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