I prepared myself. I read FEMA’s advisements for disaster preparedness. I studied The Zombie Survival Guide. I watched Shaun of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, 28 Days Later, Walking Dead, and Zombieland.
I learned that:
- Zombies just aren’t smart. They aren’t stealthy. They don’t think.
- Zombies have a single, consuming, burning desire – to eat, variably, brains and living flesh.
- We can outlast Zombies. Their bodies rot will away around them. Eventually. Probably.
- My 12-gauge shotgun and plenty of BBB shot, high velocity shells will get me through. Well, and a pair of good sneaks.
I was wrong.
Throughout Buffalo last weekend I saw signs that the apocalypse has arrived. And the zombies are more dangerous than any of us feared.
- Zombies can drive. Will cars become their hunting tools? The abilities to drive, to be safely locked in the steel boxes, to flee the urban areas have always been the mainstay of human survival in the zombie apocalypse.
- Zombies like a bargain. Discounted gasoline. Yard sale deals. The implication? They are planning on some kind of future and wish to conserve personal resources.
- Zombies remain prone to fits of hunger-rage. The yard sale sign was found fluttering along a main roadway blocks from its origin. Clearly Something Bad transpired.
I’m uncertain about how to plan for the new zombie apocalypse. Do I need more, bigger weapons to take on carloads of shopped-out, starving zombies? Should I avoid sales of any kind? I worry that none of us will survive the new, complex zombie threat.
I wish you well in the battle for survival and perhaps I’ll see you in the aftermath.