All posts tagged: lottery tickets

17th Wedding Anniversary: Furniture

No traditional gift is defined for the 17th wedding anniversary. Evidently, being married for 17 years is somehow unremarkable. A middle anniversary. One where you aren’t newlywed, nor have you achieved anything truly notable. It is just part way along the long haul. It is Indiana if you are stuck driving from New Jersey to Minnesota. It is Iowa if you are taking the interstates from Buffalo to Phoenix. Not interesting, not there yet (whatever that means for wedding anniversaries), but at least making some progress. In modern gifting etiquette, the 17th anniversary gift is furniture. I am disappointed in this because at first I read the chart wrong and thought it was porcelain. I need a new toilet, a new bathroom sink, and a crown to replace a fracturing molar in my maxilla. Porcelain seemed just about perfect. But furniture? I guess the giftie list inventors figure that by 17 years the kids and/or dogs have pretty much ruined anything nice you ever had. Maybe it would be a nice anniversary present to sit …

Twenty things I could have bought with the $20 I lost yesterday.

1. 2,000 pieces of penny candy. Two thousand. 2. 20 minutes of satellite phone time to talk to the Spouse from the remote fieldwork location. 3. 2 dozen Paula’s Donuts. That’s 24 items of pure deliciousness. 4. Two tickets to a Buffalo Bisons game. 5. 20 Mega Millions lottery tickets. 6. A shovel. 7. 6 bags of Family Size potato chips. 8. Gas for a scenic drive to Olcott and back, with a stop at Reids Hot Dogs. 9. A really big bale of toilet paper. 10. Contact lens solution, pickles, potato chips and fair-trade coffee at Target: the intended purpose. 11. A dog chair. 12. A dog license renewal. 13. A marriage license (17 years ago). 14. 180 dukie bags for dog walks. 15. 2 completely drinkable bottles of wine, or one wine-in-a-box (Equivalent of 4 bottles – stays fresh for a month. Just saying.). 16. 2 6-packs of quality beer. 17. Almost 3 months of Netflix. 18. Approximately 60 showers, 8 dishwasher runs, 5-10 loads of hot water laundry (whites and dog beds) …