Maybe it is because I am from New Jersey. Maybe it’s because I read too many books of questionable topics. But when I was standing in the sandwich shop on Niagara Falls Boulevard and saw the Eraser (www.erase-it.org) business card, I thought, Oh yeah, I need to put that card in my wallet. Because you just never really know. Discreet and professional biohazard remediation is EXACTLY what a person wants to have on speed dial. When you need it, you need it.. As I stood at the long counter of the sandwich shop waiting for my Philly cheesesteak (Buffalo interpretation) hoagy (Buffalo spelling. Inexplicable.), I thought of many reasons to call the Eraser:
Vampire extermination. Ash and anciently rotting bio-ooze are left behind every time. Disgusting.
Borg attack. Watch StarTrek Voyager on Netflix for a while. They just look smelly. Really, really smelly.
Ghoul nesting. Ghouls drool. They prefer carrion. Even if you don’t mind them around, someone’s got to clean up sometimes. They’ll rot a house out otherwise.
October 22nd Incidents. Ask the WideEyedDad what happens when you feed an old dog curry on October 21st. He could have called the Eraser instead of using a pointy nail to clean the cracks in the hardwood flooring.
Mob hit. Obvious. And, according to many, many novels, movies, and shows, most of us will have to deal with this eventually.
Zombie attack. We all know they are gooey and splashy when they go.
Ultimately I left the business card and simply programmed the number into my phone. The Eraser’s card was the most useful of the hundreds of banal real estate, lawn care, handy man, hair salon, whatever crap pinned to the board – who am I to deprive the rest of North Buffalo of the Eraser? Anyway, now you all know who to call too…tell him WideEyedFunk sent you.