When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall deadline grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the office wall, and she looks you crooked in the eye and she asks if you finished your draft yet, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ WideEyedFunk always says at a time like that: “Is your draft done yet, WEF?” “Yes ma’am, it’s uploaded to dropbox.” Misquote adapted from Big Trouble in Little China. 1986. Director John Carpenter. Twentieth Century Fox.
5 questions pertinent to my WideEyedWeek: Why do deadlines cluster? Why does bureaucratic paperwork take an order of magnitude longer than time budgeted for it? Why am I smarter as deadlines approach? Why do I prefer to be startled by deadlines clearly marked on next week’s calendar? How do I know I’m alive if I don’t feel fear? Anybody have any tums?