Food, Garden, Humor
Comments 10

Green tomatoes all over the place.

Hoist with my own petard. That’s my tomato situation. Although to be fair and correct I wasn’t intending to harm anyone with my tomatoes. Ok, I might maybe have considered throwing the nibbled ones at squirrels and urban skunks so maybe I can use the petard thing. You know, I’m just going to.

The healthy tomato garden.
The healthy tomato garden.

Last summer I planted five heirloom tomato plants: the garden peach and some kind of giant lumpy variety. They grew fast, blossomed well, and produced just a few incredibly aromatic, pleasantly textured tomatoes. The WideEyedSpouse and I made an event of each one because they were so few.

This summer I decided on a tomato blitz. I tortured myself with descriptions of heirloom and organic varieties in the Fedco catalog. I agonized over which seeds to buy. I settled on a cherry variety, a dense purpley Cosmonaut, and the succulent yellow Garden Peach. I nurtured those seedlings under a grow light in my dressing room for months. It was inconvenient, sure, but we all dreamed of a tomato bounty. Baskets full. Frozen. Sauced. Canned. Salsaed tomatoes.

Green cosmonauts.
Green cosmonauts.

Look at your calendar. It is September. My 15 lush, health tomato plants carry hundreds of turgid, deeply green tomatoes. I counted them.

If only they were yellow, purple, and red as they are meant to be. Cursed cold Buffalo summer nights. Cursed green tomatoes. Next year I am shoving a couple of store bought Big Boys in the ground and calling it good.

A sorry week's harvest.

A sorry week’s harvest.


  1. sally1137 says

    Dang. Wish I could FedEx you some of mine. I’ve canned 30 pints and 12 quarts so far this week, with another couple of big buckets to go…and then more picking. My sister picks tomatoes after a guy with 100 plants gets sick of them, so it’ll be insane until it frosts. My 92 year old mom loves it when I help her can tomatoes.

    • You are living my tomato dream! It is nice to hear that someone is getting good tomatoes! Fingers crossed that heavy frost holds off for some of mine to ripen – and I am researching green tomato eating options.

  2. Dwain says

    Immokalee farmers market has 72 perfect tomatoes in a case for $7.00.We give them to the neighbors, take a few for ourselves and take the rest to the Moose club for hamburger toppings and salads. No reason to try to grow them!!!! Dip those greenies in egg, flour ’em and fry ’em. There ya have it.

    • Tomatoes are clearly less expensive in Florida. A week has passed since you commented and I am happy to say I scored about 30 tomatoes. Not all of them, but some! The green ones migth come in this weekend to be converted to something canned!

  3. Don’t lose hope! Last year I had a strange situation where one of my plants started to die with like a jillion green tomatoes on it. I wish I could tell you the variety, but it was a volunteer. Anyhow, I put them all in a bowl with the intention of pickling them, and in a few days, they were all red! They didn’t taste as lovely as those that ripen on the vine, but they were just fine for eating raw or making sauce with. I also agree with Dwain. Frying them is also delish!

  4. Pingback: Curse Not the Green Tomatoes, Make Chutney. | wideeyedfunk

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