Food, Humor, Life
Comments 6

The lunch that wasn’t.

I sat in the feeble 1970s conference room chair at the lab table in the front of the room yesterday late morning. I was managing the start of six lab projects involving data from Alaska to Western New York, spanning the past 3,000 years. Different student research groups and I trotted from lab to museum to department office to other lab to other lab – up and down steps, across streets, through countless locked doors.

And I was starving. Empty bellied, weird head buzzing weakness, tunnel-visioned hungry.

The WideEyedSpouse was home from work and I sent him an email, saying I wished I were there. He replied: “I wish you were home too. Then you could have some of my fried egg, fried ham and cheese sandwich!” – kindly attaching a picture.Full

I leaned in close to the laptop. I could feel the crusty toast, taste the salty ham. I think I drooled on the keyboard. Bing, another email from the WideEyedSpouse –  “All gone,” it said, with an image attached.


I wept.



  1. Karen Matsinger says

    I think that is grounds for divorce. Show the pictures to a lawyer.

    • Hah! It is even worse because I didn’t tell you about the elaborate decription he gave me of the crispy, carmelized ham slices enrobed by the cheesy egg.

  2. First off…I did not know that you were sitting at a table starving when I sent that email. I was just excited about the deliciousness I had created and wanted to share it before devouring it. Although I did send the picture of the empty plate after having read that you were starving, so…umm, my apologies. I will gladly make you one of those sandwiches. We just need to get some more ham. Ham is a funny word. Ham. See…it’s funny.

    And second….my goodness that was a good sandwich. Mmm Mmm good! I cooked up those leftover Easter ham slices in a frying pan until they had some good carmelization. Then I fried the egg in the ham fat with some added butter and seasoned it with salt and pepper and just a couple shakes of Tabasco. The bread was toasted and buttered with just a slight smear of a mayonnaise/mustard/ancho chili spread that I mixed up. I added mixed greens for color and also to make it healthy. And then of course you have all seen the empty plate so you know what happened next. I enjoyed the sandwich enough for the both of us. I am just thinking now that a little bit of bacon would have really added a nice salty flavor to the mix. I will add that next time I make it when I will of course be sure that the WideEyedFunk is home!

  3. Lol, the whole wideeyedfamily is here!!! Don’t you apologize for enjoying a sandwich while your wife is off working herself into frenzied hunger sir! It looks quite delicious! My wife and I recently put fried eggs on our grilled burgers and they were stupid good!

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